Long Lost Greetings

Hello all!

Well now...I think I've officially broken my previous record of "time-spent-neglecting-the-blog" by a long shot. ;}

In my humble defense...I was quite preoccupied with a shocking diagnoses concerning my health and subsequently indisposed following surgery in mid-May to remedy the thankfully removable threat. 

So now that I am finally physically and mentally recovered, I would most love to return to this most special space to share my inconsequential thoughts, grumblings, etc.

So to start off this latest Genesis, a sweetly sad reminder that truly fresh starts are maybe something we may never get this side of heaven:

<>+<>+<>

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<> another year around the sun <>

<>♥♥<>♥♥<>

It was I who occurred

{more exactly emerged}

these many years ago

{so the story goes}

...

but the truth be told, 

I am not old

In fact, I am still arriving...

<>♥♥<>♥♥<>

I Am Not Where I Ought To Be

Discontent.
I am eaten away by this plague of comparison.
I move my hand between my forehead and that of the latest adversary to my true joy.
If I fall short - disappointment.
If I come out ahead - disappointment.

I am exhausted by life.
This barrage of faces and needs…
…constantly checking a word, a look,
For subtlety, context, connotation...

I am weary of caring.
Of doubt.

My heart,
Though never brash,
Was once sure in those things expressed.
Now it crawls humbly before the world,
Asking meekly for permission to form any harebrained thought.

Release comes in fits and spasms;
Like the tremors of the insane.
I purge my woes unevenly on the page
And after a sad look of recognition,
They are orphaned and buried.

I toe the lines set out for me without question.
Spread thin by the old mischievous inklings to rub against the grain...

I am tired.
I am tepid.
I am slow.

My limbs hang like shackles.
My wrists betray my frailty.

Sometimes...
In sparse moments of mental clarity...
I reach out to those beauties just beyond the lines of reality...
But they have forgotten my name.
I have been too long away.

In my play at responsibility
I have replaced the urgency for truth
With the stability of compromise.

I have worked so hard to be understood.
I have sacrificed much to avoid the hurtful tone of dismissal.

But to whom will I answer to when my heavy head lies loose and unhinged...?
What goodness will be found after I have let go the last whim...?

I wish…once more…to be bold…
To speak good in haste:
Without heed to convention,
Or need of sanction.

Fear and fear and doubt and compromise...
...I am not where I ought to be.

<><><>

{{simultaneously trying to be both a better person and writer. it is no small task...}}

Welcome Little One...

Say hello to my first born.

The first bloom from the first plant I have tended from seed.

Isn't it beautiful? 

I'm half tempted to provide a satirical narrative of little one's 

mundane life to get back at all those people on facebook.

Ah, but revenge is the Lord's business and what revenge 

could be so biting that involved flowers? *smile*

<< happy weekend >>

...But Joy Comes With The Morning...

 

 

{{two little surprises greeted me this morning & I'm quite taken with them}}

{{cheers!}}

das Pusteblume

...

and we held

too tightly

to what the dandelions said

das Pusteblume promised

love and fortune

laughter and pretty boys

...

but their spell weakened

with the icy rain of winter's stay

the tiny chutes of fluff and heartbeats

withered

against that gale of stones

that is the final shudder

of summer's reign

...

these weeds of childhood

the unfulfilled and unrealized

forever sprout

in the remembered past

waiting...

waiting...

to be seized

...